Short term? Long term? No matter where your relationship is at, there are 10 basic must haves to ensure loving survival. Follow this guide to dating and keep your love life on track. Find out what every great partnership needs to last the distance.
1: Sense of humor. Having the ability to laugh together may seem very simple, but laughter really is the best medicine. A sense of humor is probably the most important dating secret. Laughing at the hideous dinner at your parent’s house, the mortifying work Christmas party, the burnt toast, the failed interview, is very therapeutic. Being able to laugh about it later really does reduce the tension. Be sure you are laughing together though, and not poking fun at the other at their expense.
2: Personal space. A great dating technique is to allow yourselves to have your own space. Couples shouldn’t live out of each other’s pockets. By spending time apart, you are making the time you are together more precious and more quality driven. You need to be able to trust your lover when you are apart. You will also have more things to talk about when you are together and value your time together and make it more special.
3: Fight fair. Every couple fights. Every couple needs their own list of rules on what constitutes fair play. You shouldn’t dredge up past errors when they have already been dealt with previously. Don’t keep rehashing. You should also not bring in mentions of family members and exes. Saying” you are just like your dead beat brother” is not fighting fair. Other worthy rules include employing strategies like never leaving the house without apologizing, never sleeping on a fight, and no not talking. If things start to get really out of hand try having a 10 minute time out rule so that you can both calm down a bit before really hurtful things are said.
4: Little acts. Thoughts and words that show the other that you are still thinking about them are very important. Unexpected phone calls just to say “I love you”, random text messages and the like are all great for making the other feel wanted and special. Over the years these tiny little acts all add up and can make a huge difference as to how well the other perceives they are loved. If you are one of those people that get caught up at work and can never remember, use your personal organizer to remind you.
5: Comfortable silence. Can you spend hours together without saying a word in companionable silence? This is true intimacy. You shouldn’t feel compelled to fill every little silence with meaningless chatter. Can you walk the beach hand in hand in loving silence? Can you survive the road trip in quiet bliss (road map dramas obviously excluded)? This is a great indicator that you are in sync together and a great indicator for your dotage.
6: Life altering experience. No relationship has been challenged until it encounters one of these. Death or illness of a loved one, loss of a job or losing the family fortune are all tragic experiences that we will all at some time have to deal with. These terrible events all require support from our loved one. Seeing each other at their absolute lowest is a great relationship leveler. While these crises test your relationship they will also strengthen your emotional bonds if you can survive as a couple. Seeing how your other half deals with and supports you through these difficult times is a great pointer for your future.
7: Sure fire sex position. Once you have gotten past the honeymoon phase of your relationship, sex often doesn’t have the pressing urgency that it did earlier on. Every couple needs to have a favored position that pleases all for when time is at a premium. Knowing what the other likes means you can excite the other in a short space of time using minimum energy. You are still experiencing the physical and emotional intimacy and not drifting apart while waiting for a better time.
8: Belief in the other: It is important to have genuine belief in your partner. You must have faith in their abilities and ethics. If you don’t believe in them you shouldn’t be with them.
Faith and belief are huge building blocks for any long term relationship.
9: Having secrets. Keeping some things secret is perfectly fine. Old love letters, diaries, etc are perfectly harmless. So long as the secret isn’t going to hurt the other then it is okay to keep it to yourself. Obviously, we are not talking secret addictions, gambling and extra curricular sexual activities here. You should not be keeping secrets about important things. Long term couples can find it difficult to determine where one of you starts and the other finishes. Preserving some sense of your self is vital for staying happy and sane.
10: Attraction: There has to be something more than just physical beauty that attracts you to the other. You have to like your lover. Their face and body will change over the years, so deep down there has to be something there that draws you in and keeps you coming back for more.
To stand the test of time all relationships need these points. By utilizing this helpful dating and relationship advice you too can become long term lovers.